Guest Post by Rainbow Rowell
As I was working on my first novel, Attachments, I remember reading author blogs and listening to authors talk and always hoping they would reveal some secret that would make all the difference. Some sort of publishing shortcut or insider information or unbeatable writing tip…I don’t think these exist.
Everyone pretty much says the same thing — READ. WRITE. FINISH. (That third one is crucial)
But one piece of advice, which really didn’t have anything to do with writing, really did end up making all the difference personally. I read an interview with Diana Gabaldon, who writes the excellent Outlander series, and she was talking about how she managed to write and work and be a mom. And she said (paraphrasing here) that she stopped caring about cleaning. She forgave herself for not being a great housekeeper.
This idea hit me like three and a half tons of bricks. It seemed so wise — and so freeing!
It’s too much to work full-time and have small kids and write novels. That right there is already too much. Trying to keep up with laundry, too? MADNESS.
I asked myself what my real priorities were. Being a good mom and a good newspaper columnist were important to me. Giving myself a real shot as a novelist was important for me. Making sure that my house was always ready for company…was not.
So I gave myself permission not to clean. (Does that sound radical? It felt radical.)
My husband pinched in a lot. Between the two of us, we kept the house from smelling or changing colors. But we didn’t try to beat back the clutter. We still don’t.
There are almost always dishes in our sink — we pat ourselves on the back for getting them that far. And I sort my personal laundry on a quarterly basis. (You probably think I’m kidding. I’m not kidding. I have a hundred pairs of socks. I dig out the high-priority stuff, jeans and my favorite nerdy T-shirts, as necessary.)
I’m not exactly proud of our messy house. And it does bother me sometimes … the stacks of shoes by the door, the piles of homework and mail, the dust. But I try to think of everything I’m accomplishing instead.
My first novel is published — it’s real, I can touch it. My second comes out next year and I just finished my first draft of the third. I could never have written these books and stay on top of everything else.
I have plenty of dirty laundry, yes — but no regrets.
