About the Book
By the award-winning author of Something Wild, a gripping portrait of a tumultuous, consuming relationship between a young woman and a recovering addict
When Leah Kempler meets Charlie Nelson in line at the grocery store, their attraction is immediate and intense. Charlie, with his big feelings and grand proclamations of love, captivates her completely. But there are peculiarities of his life—he’s older than her but lives with his parents; he meets up with a friend at odd hours of the night; he sleeps a lot and always seems to be coming down with something. He confesses that he’s a recovering heroin addict, but he promises Leah that he’s never going to use again.
Leah’s friends and family are concerned. As she finds herself getting deeper into an isolated relationship, one of manipulation and denial, the truth about Charlie feels as blurry as their time together. Even when Charlie’s behavior becomes increasingly erratic, when he starts to make Leah feel unsafe, she can’t help but feel that what exists between them is destined. Charlie is wide open, boyish, and unbearably handsome. The bounds of Leah’s own pain—and love—are so deep that she can’t see him spiraling into self-destruction.
Hanna Halperin writes with aching vulnerability and intimacy, sharply attuned to Leah’s desire for an all-consuming, compulsive connection. I Could Live Here Forever exposes the chasm between perception and truth to tell an intoxicating story of one woman’s relationship with an addict, the accompanying swirl of compassion and codependence, and her enduring search for love and wholeness.
My Review
I was curious to accept the review request for I Could Live Here Forever, as it touches on being in love with an addict – a topic I don’t know much about but would like to understand. We meet Leah, an aspiring writer currently in a prestigious MFA program with only a handful of others that earned the opportunity. She meets Charlie at a grocery store, and their connection is immediate. While Leah notices a few things that may seem off about him, she doesn’t think too deeply about it – until he confesses to her he is a recovering heroin addict. While Leah initially doesn’t think the relationship will be a good fit and tries to move on, Charlie continues to lurk on the scene – even overstepping boundaries like simply showing up at her place unannounced multiple times after she has dates with other men. Leah feels the pull to him though, and the two begin to date again, even against her friends and family’s advice. The story shows how she starts to isolate herself from her writing group, her friendships, and how her relationship with Charlie puts a strain on her family relationships. Even while Leah consciously knows she isn’t making the best decisions, she continues to be with Charlie. Codependency plays large in this novel, and understanding Leah’s past with her mother leaving the family when she was a young girl could intertwine with her resistance to give up on Charlie, even as he continues to self-destruct.
While I appreciated the fluid writing and a difficult subject matter, I wasn’t able to connect with the book like I had hoped. My main issue was I couldn’t understand what drew and kept Leah interested in Charlie. I know loving and staying with an addict is a difficult situation, but I was hoping to get an understanding of what goes into that. Charlie really had no redeeming qualities whatsoever, yet from the beginning Leah is fascinated by him. He lives with his parents, has no money, clearly keeps relapsing, and has several stalker tendencies. He drew Leah away from her friends and family, her promising writing career, and didn’t seem to care at all about her well-being and happiness. Again, the relationship between an addict must be such a difficult thing and I appreciated getting Leah’s past with her mother and how that could tend to her having codependency issues, but I just didn’t see the draw to Charlie. The ending was sad but one I guessed was coming, and I was hoping to see more growth from Leah both personally and with her career. While this wasn’t my favorite book, it was an interesting story and one I’m glad I gave a chance to.
3 stars
