I read an article in a women’s magazine last week that got me thinking. The article was about how women shouldn’t get too comfortable with their boyfriends or husbands. This means not being seen without your makeup on, not letting him see you putting on a face mask, or not letting him watch while you tweeze your eyebrows. You also shouldn’t wear sweatpants, women should try to be sexy when around their men. I’m sorry, am I back in the 1950’s? This article was in a popular women’s mag, and I was pretty disappointed with it. I live with my boyfriend, and there are days that I simply don’t want to put makeup on. If I’m not going anywhere and will just be lounging around the house, who says I need to have a full face on? And at night I often use cleansers or a face mask, and I don’t feel like I need to confine myself to the bathroom when I have these on. If I want to go into the bedroom to pick out my clothes for the next day, I will. I don’t care if the BF sees me. Do I think he thinks I am just naturally beautiful all the time? Um, no. He knows I wear makeup, and he knows I use products to keep my skin from breaking out. This is not a shock to him, nor should it be to any guys. And why the hell can’t I wear sweatpants? He wears sweats or basketball shorts every night, but I have romp around in lingerie every day? I don’t think so. Not only that, but the BF has plucked my eyebrows before, and I have returned the favor. We tried out the Biore pore strips- on our three year anniversary no less- to see if they worked. I don’t feel like I should have to hide parts of my life from my boyfriend just because it shows off another side of me, a side that might not always be pretty or sexy. But that shouldn’t matter. What should matter is that I know he loves me, when I wear fake eyelashes and when I don’t.
What do you ladies think? Are you afraid to let your man see you without mascara? I think it would be exhausting to try to look and act perfect all the time around the one I love. Isn’t love supposed to be about acceptance and letting you be who you really are? With all this said, I’m not trying to say that I’m completely disgusting around my boyfriend either. I shut the bathroom door when I pee. I don’t talk his ear off about my heavy flow. But I don’t think that not ever being able to primp while he is looking is possible. Especially once we moved in together. I should be able to feel comfortable in my own house, regardless that my roommate happens to be my lover as well. Are you afraid to let your boyfriend or husband see part of your beauty routine? Do you wear silky PJ’s every night? I would love to her any opinions on this subject!
I’m with you all the way, Samantha! 1950’s thinking can stay there. Not to mention, when your partner (in my case, my husband) has been by your side through 12 hrs of labor and childbirth, the smoke and mirrors have been snuffed and shattered for good! 🙂
I totally agree with you. This is pretty antiquated advice for that lady mag to dole out, and I’m offended by it, too. You want your guy to love YOU, not some sex kitten in a porn mag. Now, I’m all about looking cute. I wear sweats around my guy, but they’re cute sweats. I’m not sitting around in stained T-shirts 2 sizes too big or clipping my toenails in the living room. But expecting to never let your guy see you sans make up? That is just ridiculous, and like you said, smacks of a 1950s mentality where women were expected to look pretty and have no opinions. If that’s what a guy wants, trust me, you don’t want him!
I think the advice in the article is pretty ridiculous in this day and age. And I NEVER wear makeup, ever, so it would be nothing new to a boyfriend to see me without it. And I’ve never been a total girly girl either. I hardly ever wear dresses or skirts and sandals. I’ve always been a jeans and t-shirt kinda girl and I’ve have no complaints thus far. So I think the author of that article may be leading women astray.
If a woman ends up staying with a man for a long term commitment he will see much worse things than a makeupless face. If he can’t handle something as tame as a mud mask I’m not sure he’s someone you want to keep.
So, primping in front of “your man” is bad but what about in front of your girlfriend? Or are lesbians/bi girls either A) already suppose to know that apparently all women do these things or B) too busy wearing plaid and refusing to shave their underarm hair?
This sounds like Cosmo… oh Cosmo, I can only laugh at you or else I would cry.
As for the advice… It’s pretty silly. I know it sounds futuristic and crazy but in the 21st Century women and men live together before or in place of marriage. Also, we live in a tell-the-world-everything kind of world with a scoop of raunch culture that leaves little to the imagination about anybody. Somehow I just don’t think having ones significant other know about your ‘primping’ habits is going to kill the relationship.
I’m rather secure in the idea that if my other half is cool with clipping his toe nails in front of me, it won’t kill him for me to ask if my eye brows look fine after plucking.
Interesting post, Samantha.
I was married before and there was nothing I hid from my ex. I would let him see me getting ready to go out.
2nd time around, I do not let my partner see me putting my face on, or in the bath etc.
I don’t always wear makeup so he does see me without but just funny about him seeing my ‘beauty’ routines.
It took 2 years for me to let him see me in a tshirt nightie rather than a slinky camisole nightie. LOL
carol
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So true Kathleen! Ouch – 12 hours!
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Totally agree Lucie! I definitely have my “cute sweats” as well, and I love when my BF tells me how beautiful I look when he knows I’m not wearing makeup.
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I used to be someone who would wear makeup to bed and to the gym, and I’m so glad I’m over that! Women certainly don’t need makeup to be beautiful!
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Agreed Jenna! I was so sad when I read that article. I actually showed it to the BF and was relieved when he scoffed at it as well. Dated advice, I think!
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You know, Christine, I actually wondered that when I was writing this article! But I agree with you, times are definitely changing, and I live with my boyfriend even though we are not married. If I couldn’t be myself in front of him and had to wear makeup 24-7, I would be so miserable!
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Thanks for your take Carol!
Ha!! I just finished reading your post and am amazed that anyone thinks that way anymore…seriously! My husband and I have been married for two years, dated for 9 before that and he PREFERS me without makeup and my hair up in a ponytail. I was gifted with good skin (thank you mom) so I don’t hardly ever wear makeup (not even to work), but when I do, he enjoys it, but prefers the au-natural. LOL to the lingerie all the time…..that stuff needs to get dusted off!! I think lingerie is in the same category….women think that men want it, when really all they want is the damn stuff off. We have been brain-washed into thinking we need it to turn on a man….when our bodies, and our personalities are more than enough to get the job done. I think the same applies to makeup. I think women THINK that men want it on…but really, they could care less. I read an article the other day about “trends that men don’t understand” and it mentioned the smokey eye, bright eyeshadows, bright lipsticks and a few other things. I think ultimately the article was just trying to say that if you wear makeup, keep it simple. The guys don’t care for all the fuss….we just think that they do.
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Thanks so much Sara! I love that you mentioned that article about trends guys don’t understand. I think that definitely shows we don’t need a bunch of makeup to find a great guy!